Peace

I've decided not to do aerobic instructor training. As most of you know, I did Body Combat training a few weeks ago. I really enjoyed the training. It was fun and exciting, but honestly, I was not at peace in my heart. Since then, I've been a little depressed and very irritable and very impatient with my kids and with Jim. I've hated the feeling. I was stressed over all I had to learn just for Body Combat, not including the Body Pump training that I had planned to do this weekend.

Since Body Combat, through the practices and everything, my head kept telling me to keep going and keep on, but there was no peace in my heart. There were days that I would question my 'keeping on', but I avoided it because of selfish ambition. Why did I decide to do all this in the first place? Because several people at the Health Club told me I should become an instructor and that I would be great at it. It made me feel good that they thought I was good enough, and so I did it. I remember praying and asking God if this was His will for me, but never listened for an answer. It was a pride thing. 'Yeah, I'm an aerobic instructor, and I'm in good shape. Uh-huh.' WHATEVER!!! "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." Forgive me, Lord.

Last night, I absolutely could not sleep. I didn't fall asleep until about 1:30 or 2:00am. Jim was gone, and I was restless. My stomach was in knots. I've never felt so uncomfortable in my spirit than I did last night. It was miserable. Body Pump training was to begin on Friday, tomorrow. So if I really wasn't going to do this, then I had to make the decision. I didn't even know if I was going to get my money back because it was so close. God and I talked a whole lot last night. And I felt like He was saying to me that He had called me to be a mommy. A stay-at-home mommy. And even though this instructor job wouldn't have been full time. I would've taught just a few classes a week, I still would have to practice and study. It was still going to be a lot of work. I also talked to Jim. He didn't care what I did. He told me that if it was causing me too much stress and being overwhelmed, then it wasn't worth it. I woke up this morning with a heavy heart. I called Les Mills and several times they did not answer. I was to just leave a message and they would call me back. I talked to Jim, and he told me to just leave a message and wait for them to call me back. So I called. And they answered! And they gave me my money back minus $50 assessment fee. Thank you, Lord.

I'm still a little worried about going back to the Health Club because everyone there knows that I've been training and had planned to teach.

We already had a hotel booked for the weekend, so we decided to still go and just have fun this weekend. I just won't go to training. I am at full peace now. Thank you so much for all of you who encouraged me.