Every day I read Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest on the Internet. Today's devotional was very convicting.
Must I Listen?
"And they said unto Moses, Speak thou with us and we will hear: but let not God speak with us, lest we die." Exodus 20:19
We do not consciously disobey God, we simply do not heed Him. God has given us His commands; there they are, but we do not pay any attention to them, not because of wilful disobedience but because we do not love and respect Him. "If ye love Me, ye will keep My commandments." When once we realize that we have been "disrespecting" God all the time, we are covered with shame and humiliation because we have not heeded Him.
"Speak thou with us . . . but let not God speak with us." We show how little we love God by preferring to listen to His servants only. We like to listen to personal testimonies, but we do not desire that God Himself should speak to us. Why are we so terrified lest God should speak to us? Because we know that if God does speak, either the thing must be done or we must tell God we will not obey Him. If it is only the servant's voice we hear, we feel it is not imperative, we can say, "Well, that is simply your own idea, though I don't deny it is probably God's truth."
Am I putting God in the humiliating position of having treated me as a child of His whilst all the time I have been ignoring Him? When I do hear Him, the humiliation I have put on Him comes back on me - "Lord, why was I so dull and so obstinate?" This is always the result when once we do hear God. The real delight of hearing Him is tempered with shame in having been so long in hearing Him.
1 comment:
Hi. I found your blog from visiting Lysa TerKeurst's. Your comment to Lysa called me to check out your blog. I too accepted Christ into my heart as a young child and don't have a testimony filled with this big 'before and after' picture. I actually went through a year of depression as an adult as I searched for who I was and what I really believed. I so appreciated your thoughts.
I also read your "Broken" entry. You write so well. I identify with the fear of abandonment, yet know it's the only way to live freely in Christ. I often remind myself that God's Word says, that His plans for us are good, and to bring us a hope and a future. He doesn't look at our sweet surrender and say, now lets put her through the test and see if she means it - that's not a God of love. These things will touch our lives whether we've surrendered or not - but if we've come abandoned before Him, He will carry us through.
I led the Beth Moore "Believing God" study last year at our church. Powerful study. Praying the Lord will give you courage to get back to it and help you trust Him in the journey.
I love your blog - I'll visit again.
Blessings,
Joy
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