I have realized that life is short. Life is fleeting. It’s a journey that we all must make…but what will it mean when we are gone? What will my legacy be? Will I be remembered for the life that I lived, wholly surrendered to Christ? Will I be remembered for the way I treated my husband and children? I want to be remembered for being a submissive wife, a loving mother, a servant to others. But most of all, I want to be remembered for being like Jesus.
Isaiah 43:10 says, “‘You are my witnesses,’ declares the Lord, ‘and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am He.’”
When I received Christ as a little girl, I became a witness for Him; to tell the world who God is and what He has done. Do people know what God is like through my words and example? I want people to be able to see Him reflected in me. God is so much more than what I have acknowledged and experienced. He is capable of tremendously more than I have witnessed, more than any of us have probably witnessed. I have become convinced that we see so little mainly because we believe Him for so little. I began Beth Moore’s Bible Study Believing God a while back and never finished it. But after all of this that He has placed on my heart, I am going to start over and make a commitment to finish it. I desire for my faith to be strengthened. I believe IN God, but I want to believe Him. God is at work in me and I am learning to recognize Him in the midst of life. When I see a sunset I know no artist could paint, I recognize God. When I look at my son or my daughter and want to pull my hair out because of they way they are acting, I recognize that they are God’s gift to me for only a short time. Or when something happens in my day that I know is more than a coincidence, I am learning to recognize God in it. I don’t want to miss God when He makes Himself observable. I want to learn a lifestyle of believing God for who He says He is.
Philippians 1:6 says, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” His work in me began when I first believed. Do you sometimes feel as though you aren’t making progress in your spiritual walk? I do, but when God begins something, He is faithful to complete it! I must remember that God will not give up on me. He promises to finish the work he has begun. I must not let the enemy rob me of the joy of knowing Christ or keep me from growing closer to Him. I desire to know Him and I want to submit everything I am and all that I have to Him. Yet sometimes it is very scary for me to say I want to follow after God completely. From the minute I do this, little scenes of possibilities start flashing before me. A life of poverty. Some kind of horrible tragedy to test us. A health crises. Loss. Pain. Extreme sacrifice.Satan says, "Look at all you'll have to give up. And there is no guarantee that Jesus will come through for you. None at all. Don't take this Jesus thing to seriously…lighten up.”Jesus says, "Look at all you have to gain. My love for you is so completely consuming, I can only have your best interest in mind. Make me the center of your heart and you will light up the world."
So I want to surrender. Wholly surrender. Abandon. I want my life to be broken and spilled out, just as Mary broke the expensive alabaster jar with expensive perfume and poured it onto Jesus’ head (Mark 14:3). My dad has sang this song by Steve Green many times before and the words always remind me of the precious gift that God gave me – the gift of His one and only Son, broken and spilled out on the cross just for love of me.
Isaiah 43:10 says, “‘You are my witnesses,’ declares the Lord, ‘and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am He.’”
When I received Christ as a little girl, I became a witness for Him; to tell the world who God is and what He has done. Do people know what God is like through my words and example? I want people to be able to see Him reflected in me. God is so much more than what I have acknowledged and experienced. He is capable of tremendously more than I have witnessed, more than any of us have probably witnessed. I have become convinced that we see so little mainly because we believe Him for so little. I began Beth Moore’s Bible Study Believing God a while back and never finished it. But after all of this that He has placed on my heart, I am going to start over and make a commitment to finish it. I desire for my faith to be strengthened. I believe IN God, but I want to believe Him. God is at work in me and I am learning to recognize Him in the midst of life. When I see a sunset I know no artist could paint, I recognize God. When I look at my son or my daughter and want to pull my hair out because of they way they are acting, I recognize that they are God’s gift to me for only a short time. Or when something happens in my day that I know is more than a coincidence, I am learning to recognize God in it. I don’t want to miss God when He makes Himself observable. I want to learn a lifestyle of believing God for who He says He is.
Philippians 1:6 says, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” His work in me began when I first believed. Do you sometimes feel as though you aren’t making progress in your spiritual walk? I do, but when God begins something, He is faithful to complete it! I must remember that God will not give up on me. He promises to finish the work he has begun. I must not let the enemy rob me of the joy of knowing Christ or keep me from growing closer to Him. I desire to know Him and I want to submit everything I am and all that I have to Him. Yet sometimes it is very scary for me to say I want to follow after God completely. From the minute I do this, little scenes of possibilities start flashing before me. A life of poverty. Some kind of horrible tragedy to test us. A health crises. Loss. Pain. Extreme sacrifice.Satan says, "Look at all you'll have to give up. And there is no guarantee that Jesus will come through for you. None at all. Don't take this Jesus thing to seriously…lighten up.”Jesus says, "Look at all you have to gain. My love for you is so completely consuming, I can only have your best interest in mind. Make me the center of your heart and you will light up the world."
So I want to surrender. Wholly surrender. Abandon. I want my life to be broken and spilled out, just as Mary broke the expensive alabaster jar with expensive perfume and poured it onto Jesus’ head (Mark 14:3). My dad has sang this song by Steve Green many times before and the words always remind me of the precious gift that God gave me – the gift of His one and only Son, broken and spilled out on the cross just for love of me.
One day a plain village woman
Driven by love for her Lord
Recklessly poured out a valuable essence
Disregarding the scorn
And once it was broken and spilled out
A fragrance filled all the room
Like a prisoner released from his shackles
Like a spirit set free from the tomb
Broken and spilled out
Just for love of you, Jesus
My most precious treasure
Lavished on thee
Broken and spilled out
And poured at your feet
In sweet abandon
Let me be spilled out
And used up for Thee
Lord you were God's precious treasure
His loved and his own perfect Son
Sent here to show me the love of the Father
Just for love it was done
And though you were perfect and holy
You gave up yourself willingly
You spared no expense for my pardon
You were used up and wasted for me
Broken and spilled out
Just for love of me Jesus
God's most precious treasure
Lavished on me
Broken and spilled out
And poured at my feet
In sweet abandon
Lord you were spilled out
And used up for me
In sweet abandon, Lord, let me be spilled out and used up for Thee.
3 comments:
Oh Ash...you DO shine Him. You are full of joy and laughter. You are encouraging and friendly. You are a godly woman. But I respect your decision. And I KNOW it is hard. So hard...
Right before our daughter died, I had asked Jesus to reveal Himself to me. I am not saying that that is the reason she died, but He DID use it to reveal Himself. It is so hard to trust wholly when you just don't know what that is going to entail. But I assure you, it is worth it. And I want to do this with you! To trust Him more completely like I once did. It is easy to fall from that when life gets comfortable...
I'll keep praying!
I love this post! Why dont you lead believing God out of your home or something that way you can do it with a group...
that may not be possible with the kiddos.
I think the enemy uses fear so much to keep us paralyzed. That has been so true for me. We just have to keep casting our cares on Him. One thing the Lord has had to get through to me is that just because something happens to someone else...doesn't mean I am to apply that tragedy to my life...when it hasn't happened. Girl i say this with much affection you don't fear...just keep taking those things to Him. I say that from one who knows. I have to constantly cast down imaginations. Sounds like you know what to do with all of that anyone. I just wanted to encourage you in the Lords peace. What has happened to others doesn't mean it will happen to you. you know what i am saying. i am rambling!!!
I have four comments on this:
1- Ash, I love you so much and your precious heart that longs to offer your life completely to our Father. Wish I could give you a big bear hug!
2 -I agree with the first comment on this post...I see the Lord in you. You have the sweetest smile and disposition and the Lord uses you to encourage me in ways that you will never even know!
3- I was reading the post right above mine and nodding my head in agreement the whole time! That is something that I constantly struggle with. I am a terrible worrier and allow the enemy to fill my head with lies on an almost daily basis. Just because God is working a certain way in someone elses life doesn't mean that situation will happen to me. And it doesn't mean that I should start acting like it's going to happen or like it's already happened when it hasn't and very well probably won't! And if it does, then God has allowed it to happen and it's out of love and discipline and for my good!! I hope this truth is something that you know well and do not allow satan to make you believe otherwise. I love what she said about "casting down imaginations"...so true! I love it!
4- I wish you would do Believing God out of your home. And I wish that I didn't live 6 hours away and I would come!
I'm praying for you and praising Jesus for you life!
Much love from me to you :)
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